You can read about this community here.

Yes, all members of this community are real, and the stories shared on the website are true experiences from women (past or current members) who want to contribute their stories as a learning resource for others.

Our community is a WhatsApp group where members—both those already married and those considering marriage—gather to share their experiences. Members can gain insights, advice, and support from others who have gone through similar situations. To join the community: Please check this page, and answer all of the questions to join our international WhatsApp group. If we find out later on that you gave fake data to us, we will remove and ban you from our group. We have this policy to protect our members because our group is a private female group, and we share our personal lives, pictures, and videos. Our international WhatsApp group is closed for Indonesians. For Indonesians, please fill out this "Aurat ki Kahani Form" to join the Indonesian WhatsApp group. The WhatsApp groups are ONLY for women; men are NOT allowed to join. Do I need to pay for the membership? No, it's totally free. I want to join the community, but I don't want to provide my personal information and my relationship details with my Pakistani man. Can I join the group? No, you can't. Our group is a private group, so we don't accept fake names and fake identities. If you don't want to provide genuine information about your relationship with your Pakistani man, the members of the group cannot help you and give you advice that suits your situation. ​ Our group is an educational group; we provide information and advice to educate other women about Pakistan, Pakistani culture, and Pakistani behavior based on our personal experiences; therefore, we don't accept "silent readers" and mysterious members in our private group.

We have helped several members uncover the truth about their Pakistani partners before marriage, preventing cases of fraud. Additionally, we provide information on marriage and divorce laws in Pakistan, as well as cultural insights, to help our members make informed decisions. Our community has also contributed to research conducted by student groups and organizations in Pakistan (without leaking our members' personal data), focusing on issues such as domestic violence, marriage, and feminism. Our community has drawn attention because these issues affect not only Pakistani women in Pakistan but also foreign women who marry Pakistani men, whether they live in Pakistan or abroad.

Check this link to read about them.

Risk of scams: Many Pakistani men seek foreign women for visas or financial benefits, pretending to be in love while planning to abandon the foreign wife after securing residency or financial gain. Risk of domestic violence: Domestic violence rates are high in Pakistan, and many women suffer in silence due to the strong patriarchal culture. Foreign women, especially those without local family support, can be even more vulnerable. Many men believe in controlling their wives, and some use physical or emotional abuse to assert dominance. Family expectations: Pakistani family opinions and approval can strongly influence the marriage. Cultural differences: Daily life, gender roles, and social expectations can be very different from what a foreign woman is used to. Religion: Religion plays a crucial role in Pakistani marriages. Many Pakistani men expect their wives to convert to Islam. Even if a man is not very religious, he may expect his wife to follow Islamic and Pakistani traditions. This can include wearing modest clothing, fasting during Ramadan, and raising children as Muslims. In some cases, in-laws may also pressure a foreign wife to convert or practice Islam more strictly. Future children: Discussing how children will be raised, their nationality, and their education is crucial. Many Pakistani families expect children to be raised as Muslims and may not allow foreign wives to introduce other religions or cultural values. Possibility of polygamy: Some men may take a second wife if their first wife cannot bear children or cannot meet family expectations. Even if polygamy is not discussed before marriage, family pressure can play a role later. Financial dependency: If a woman moves to Pakistan, she may have limited work opportunities. Many men expect their wives to be financially dependent on them, which can limit a woman's independence. Legal rights: Understanding marriage and divorce laws in Pakistan is important. Divorce can be complicated for foreign women, and some have faced difficulties in child custody cases. Control over passport and finances: There are many cases when Pakistani men (or their families) take away a foreign wife's passport and money, especially if she moves to Pakistan. This makes it difficult for women to leave if they face abuse or an unhappy marriage. Some women have found themselves trapped, unable to return to their home country without their husband's permission.

Pakistani men can vary greatly depending on their background, upbringing, and level of exposure to different cultures. Many are conservative and traditional, with strong ties to their family's expectations. In more conservative families, marriages are arranged, and the influence of parents, especially mothers, is strong. However, some Pakistani men are more modern and open-minded, particularly those who have lived or studied abroad. You can read more about "Things You Should Know When You Date a Pakistani" here. It is also important to be aware that some Pakistani men target foreign women, especially from developed countries, for visa marriages. They may pretend to be deeply in love but are primarily seeking financial benefits or a foreign passport. There have been cases where men maintain a marriage just long enough to obtain residency before abandoning their wives. You can read more about this here. Do Pakistani men marry for love or family expectations? It depends on the family. Some Pakistani men have the freedom to choose their partner, while many others must follow family expectations, often marrying someone chosen by their parents. Love marriages do happen, but they can sometimes face resistance, especially if the woman is from a different nationality or religious background, was married before, and has children. In some cases, Pakistani men who marry a non-pakistani woman may be pressured by their families to take a second wife from their own culture to fulfill family expectations.

How do Pakistani families treat foreign wives? It varies. Some families warmly welcome foreign wives, especially if they respect Pakistani culture and traditions. However, many foreign wives struggle with cultural differences, family expectations, and restrictions. In families with a strong patriarchal mindset, a foreign wife more likely to be expected to adapt completely to the Pakistani way of life, including dressing conservatively, following Islamic traditions, and living in a joint family system with little privacy. Some families also interfere in a couple’s relationship, with the husband's mother or sisters having strong influence over household decisions. How do Pakistani men treat their wives or partners financially? In Pakistan, men are traditionally responsible for providing for the family, and women often rely on their husbands for financial support. Many Pakistani men limit their wives’ access to money, forcing them to ask permission for even basic expenses, as many women in Pakistan don't have financial independence and rely on men's incomes. A serious issue to be aware of is financial scams. Some Pakistani men specifically target foreign women to gain financial benefits. There have been cases where men pressured their foreign women to send money to Pakistan, invest in businesses, or buy property in the Pakistani man’s name, only to use them for their own benefits. Do Pakistani men allow their wives to visit their home country? Some Pakistani men are supportive and allow their foreign wives to visit their families. However, others may be restrictive due to financial reasons, fear that their wives may not return, or the belief that the wife's family is less important than the husband's family, as in Desi culture, a wife belongs to her husband's family after marriage. In extreme cases, there have been reports of foreign women, especially who have children with their Pakistani husbands, having their passports confiscated by their husbands or in-laws, trapping them in the country. It is crucial to have an independent exit plan before moving to Pakistan.

Many Pakistani men come from a patriarchal society where men are considered the head of the household, and women are expected to obey their husbands. Therefore, many men from this society try to control their wives' activities, finances, and even friendships. Another concerning issue is the high prevalence of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) among Pakistani men. Many exhibit narcissistic traits such as extreme entitlement, lack of empathy, manipulation, and control over their spouse. They may gaslight their partners, make them feel guilty for questioning them, and refuse to take responsibility for their actions. In more extreme cases, domestic violence is a significant issue in Pakistan. The country has a high rate of domestic abuse, with many women facing physical and emotional violence from their husbands. Since divorce is stigmatized, many women—including foreign wives—find it difficult to leave abusive marriages. If you are considering marriage with a Pakistani man, it is crucial to understand your legal rights and have a plan in case of mistreatment.

Not always. Some Pakistani men are attracted to foreign women because they see them as independent, open-minded, and less demanding compared to Pakistani women. However, many prefer to marry Pakistani women because a Pakistani wife is more accepted by the family and community, and Pakistani women understand the culture, language, and traditional roles. Some Pakistani men marry foreign women mainly for visa benefits. In many cases, a man may secretly marry a Pakistani woman later, even if he is already married to a foreigner.

Job opportunities for women in Pakistan are limited and poorly paid compared to developed countries. Most available jobs are in teaching and healthcare, particularly for female doctors and nurses. However, fluency in Urdu is usually required, making it harder for foreign women to find work unless they have specialized skills. Additionally, some conservative families do not allow their wives or daughters-in-law to work, believing that a woman’s role is to take care of the household.

Polygamy is legal in Pakistan but not very common among upper-middle-class and educated families. However, in more conservative and rural areas, men sometimes take multiple wives, especially if their first wife is unable to bear children. Foreign women who marry (or want to marry) Pakistani men should be aware that their Pakistani men may already have a wife in Pakistan or may take another wife later. There have been many cases where foreign women discovered that their husband was already married in Pakistan but had hidden this information.

Divorce is less common in Pakistan compared to Western countries, as it is often stigmatized. Women, especially, face social and family pressure to stay in their marriages, even in difficult situations. In cases of domestic violence, many women, including foreign wives, find it difficult to leave their marriage due to legal and financial barriers. Women should be aware of their rights and have a support system in place before entering a marriage with a Pakistani man. If you want to read more about divorce in Pakistan, you can read the article here.

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You can reach us by email at marrying.pakistani@gmail.com