When we think about Pakistan what kind of thing that comes out of our mind? Maybe you think about Muslim people, Taliban, terrorist or conservative culture. Pakistan is an Islamic republic country and around 90% of Pakistani are Muslim. Pakistan also uses Islamic law and being drunk in public is a crime. However, the non Muslims should know that not everything in Pakistan is actually Islamic and follow the sharia law ( Islamic law ).
When we go to Pakistan stay there for long time, immerse with locals, then we can see clearly which things that not Islamic but still common in Pakistan, and the Pakistanis will quibble and say the practice that they are doing is Islamic and based on Islamic teachings.
Here are few practices that are actually relate to cultural thing and not based on Islamic teaching :
1. Joint Family system
Joint family is the system when all the family members will live in the same house and most of the time the family will interfere the life of other family members. Most of the time the children in the family will follow the family decision and put family as their first priority. Living together with other family members who are not Muhram/Muhrim ( a person whom he/she is never permitted to marry because of their close blood relationship ) is not part of Islamic teaching because Islam teaches any Muslim to keep their distance to their non Mahram/Muhrim.
A Wife and her brother in law is not Mahram, but in Indian and Pakistani joint family system they put them in the same house, and most of time a wife has duty to take care of her unmarried brothers in law. Cousin is also not Mahram, but in joint family where 3 generations of family live together in the same roof, male and female cousins will live together in the same house.
2. Husband’s family is the first priority of wife
In Islam a son has responsibility towards his family and parents but a wife is not obligated to take care of her husband’s parents because she has her own parents and family too. However, if she ( wife ) wants to help her husband to take care of her parents in law, Allah will give her good deeds.
Most of the practice in Pakistan, they demand a wife to be 100% loyal to their husband’s family instead of the wife's family, moreover according to Hindustan ancient culture, a mother in law is over a biological mother. There are still many families in Pakistan who will give back their daughter to her husband’s family although she runs away due to domestic violence because they think their daughter belongs to her husband's family.
Find out more about Islamic perspective of daughter in law's duties here :
3. Honor Killing
Pakistan is one of the countries in the world which has high honor killing rate, nearly 1000 women every year have been killed in Pakistan in the name of honor. Honor killing is not only happening in rural area where the uneducated people live in but it also happens in big and modern city like Lahore and Karachi.
image : teeth.com.pk
The people who practice and agree with honor killing say that society will proud of their family because they save their family honor by killing their own child who disobeys them and bring shame to the family. They think the killing is the right thing to do, they don’t feel guilty because in Islam itself the children should respect and obey their parents --- which is very wrong conception about Islamic teaching.
4. Woman Is Not Allowed to Pray at Mosque
We can see in Indonesia which has the largest Muslim population in the world or in other countries such as Arab world, and western countries that many Muslim women are free to go to mosque to learn Islam and pray but this is unusual scene in Pakistan.
There are only some mosques in big cities such as Lahore or Islamabad that provide place for women to pray. If we go to smaller city of Pakistan, mostly they don’t have it. Most women in Pakistan pray at home, even they pray Eid ( Islamic religious celebration ) at home.
They use the proposition which states that prophet said :
"a woman’s prayer in her house is better than her prayer in her courtyard, and her prayer in her bedroom is better than her prayer in her house." ( reported by Abu Dawud )
".... praying in your house is better for you than praying in your courtyard, and praying in your courtyard is better for you than praying in the mosque of your people, and praying in the mosque of your people is better for you than praying in my mosque." ( reported by Imam Ahmad )
Nevertheless, they neglect another verse when prophet also said :
"Do not prevent your women from going to the mosque, even though their houses are better for them." ( Reported by Abu Dawud )
Prophet Muhammad SAW also said :
"The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) commanded us to bring them (women) out on (Eid) al-Fitr and (Eid) al-Adha, and to bring out adolescent girls, menstruating women and virgins, but the menstruating women were to stay away from the prayer, but were to witness goodness and the gathering of the Muslims." ( Reported by Bukhari and Muslim )
5. Jahez ( Dowry from Bride )
Islam has rule about dowry for marriage, it's called mahr. It's the dowry that given by groom to his bride. Mahr is mandatory in Islam. When a husband divorces his wife he cannot take his mahr back, and he is obliged to give money compensation ( at least 3 months living cost ) to his wife. However, when a wife asks divorce to her husband, she needs to give her mahr back or pay money compensation to her husband.
Jahez is something different. jahez is a dowry that brought by women. In Indian culture, jahez is given in form of money or gold or in Pakistan the bride brings house furniture and kitchen utensil as her jahez. Sometimes the price of jahez is more expensive than the Mahr itself.
Read more about jahez here : Pakistani Wedding and Dowry
6. Beating Your Wife
In Paksitan domestic violence case is very high, it's around 90% including verbal and physical abuse. The CII (Pakistan Islamic council) allows a husband beats their wives “lightly” because they said it’s written in Qur’an and parts of Islamic law.
But the fact what happened in the field is, the husbands beat their wives overdo in Pakistan and the government cannot do much about this. In western country, when husband beats his wife, she can put him in jail so easily but in Pakistan the society is unfortunately not working like this.
According to Islamic teaching, Prophet Muhammad SAW never beat his wives, and he said :
“The best of you ( men ) are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” ( Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi )
"Give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her." ( Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi )
In Islam there are many rules if a husband wants to beat his wife :
not allowed to slap her or beat her on face
not allowed to beat her to hurt her by that beating until it leaves mark on her body
not allowed to beat her without Islamic reason ( example : a wife doesn’t want to pray, fast, and she makes sins and against Islamic teaching, etc )
not allowed to beat her before being patient, before giving her advice, and before ignoring her for maximum 3 months
But in Pakistan, many husbands beat their wife because she doesn’t cook properly, she disagrees with what her husband’s say, the Pakistani family doesn’t like her, and many reason which is not Islamic. Domestic violence in Pakistan is not always done by the husbands but also other family members ( in law ).
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