Most of Pakistani men who were born and grew up in Pakistan will change after the wedding to be the real who they are. We can say, most of Pakistani men have two faces, and the next question are "Why"? and "Who are they?"
Pakistani culture is more complex than what most people thought, Pakistan has Indian culture and also Islamic culture, and they are conservative country. The location which next to Afghanistan made some of Muslim Pakistanis have radical Taliban thoughts. More conservative the family, the women will have less freedom and the men become more dominant and superior. "Man over the Women" is a common thing among Pakistan society. Even though most Pakistani women and men said that woman and man are equal in Pakistan but as the outsider from modern or liberal country we can say, "Nope".
"Not all Pakistani men are same, but the thought in Pakistani society is usually same that
man is over the woman, so woman needs to follow man."
However, most of Pakistani and Indian are so proud of their culture and country, so they won't say the negative things which happen in their countries to outsiders. They will promote the great things their countries have instead.
Mostly the Pakistanis from small cities, Khyber Phaktunwa (KPK) province, villages/district, Pathan/Pashtun tribe are more conservative than other Pakistanis who live in big cities. We can see many women in those area wear niqab, most of them are housewife and they don't go out of the house regularly, only for very urgent things. The traditional Pakistani family also prefer having daughter in law who is pretty; has whiter skin; can take care of the house; has sewing, cooking, and make up skills.
You may come across a Pakistani man who has western lifestyle, but when you check his Facebook profile, you will not find his picture with his female friends and you will not find his picture in the night club neither. He might has so many female friends on his friend list but the feed is so clean from the shitty things. Why?
Pakistanis are normal human, they want to have a life too, but of course in the other hand, they need to keep their family reputation. Therefore, every bad activity and every western thing, they will do it behind, even having a girl--friend or a life--partner. When he get married, it's the time to change. He has more responsibilities now, and he needs to teach his wife how to act to keep his reputation. Then, he changed to be what he really is. He will change to be someone like what the Pakistani society and family have taught him when he was younger.
Sometimes,
they expect you to be a Pakistani woman
like their Pakistani mothers.
The girl--friend is not a girl--friend anymore. She is not the one whom he can show her off towards his mates. The girl--friend is his wife when they get married, and a wife is a part of his family. The one who will help him to take care of his entire family members and also help to keep his reputation. Therefore, the foreign wife should know how to act like Pakistani. Even if she is not a Muslim, she better has to convert. So, the Pakistani society can accept her easily. Most Pakistani men are dominant, so the woman is the one who needs to change and adjust in his family and culture, not the vise versa.
In some cases, the Muslim Pakistani man has foreign non Muslim wife and they live outside Pakistan ( in the wife's country ). The Pakistani man never ask her to change her lifestyle. It depends on how modern his family is, if the family is actually the conservative family ( they might just pretend to be modern family ) then, most cases that we already have. The Pakistani man only want something from the non Muslim foreign wife, mostly he needs visa to stay in his wife's country. He will keep the non Muslim foreign wife for himself and will not introduce her to his Pakistani society in Pakistan. Therefore, you need to be more cautious if the Muslim Pakistani man never ask you to change your western lifestyle and ask you to convert when he has conservative family.
Some of the Pakistani men will tell that they are modern guy,
have good financial and are open-minded, but it could be just on their tongues.
The reality can be different from what they say.
Always double check what Pakistani says.
These are the list about what will happen to you when you marry Pakistani and live in Pakistani culture :
1. Can't keep your male friends anymore
Pakistani society never believe that male and female can just be a friend. Even in Pakistan they have many single sex schools and most Pakistani families prefer sending their daughters to female school.
2. Can't go out alone without your husband or any family member, unless for urgent thing
A girl going outside alone in Pakistan is not a good thing. In some big cities, the women have more freedom to go out by themselves but unfortunately, not all Pakistani will let their women to go outside the house alone. Usually, the women will go with the sisters in law and mother in law, or with the husband.
3. Can't go out without your husband's permission
Whenever you want to go, you need to tell your husband first and ask for his permission.
4. Only wear modest clothes
No more bikini, tank top, short pants. Modest clothes it doesn't always mean wearing niqab or hijab, but the clothes that cover all your body. For more conservative Pakistani man, he will ask you to wear hijab or niqab. So, better you check carefully how conservative your Pakistani man and his family are and ask about this before having plan to get married. If you live in Pakistan, mostly they will ask you to wear Pakistani traditional clothes -- Shalwar Kameez. Most of Pakistani people don't respect if they see a women wears jeans, too western clothes, and sexy clothes.
5. No double date
If you have married female friends, most Pakistani man will let you to meet your female friends but not including your friend's husband. Most married Pakistani man also doesn't like the concept of hang out together with other couples. In Pakistani culture, men and women will hang out separately, woman will be with woman and man will be with man.
6. Can't accept male guest
The one who will meet the male guest is your husband or any male members in the family. If the Pakistani man is not at home, you are at home alone and no male, you can't invite male guest to enter your house.
7. Can't mingle with your Husband's friends
If your husband's friends visit your house. The person who is allowed to meet them is only the male family members, and your husband. Your husband will keep you to stay in the room while he spends time with his mates. Sometimes the husband will ask your help to make drinks or snacks, but the person who will serve these foods and drinks to his friends is not you but him. Even in some occasions, the Pakistani husband will leave his wife in the house while he travels with his male mates to other cities or even overseas. Bringing a wife to hang out and travel with his mates is not a good thing.
8. Can't talk about money and business
The Pakistani society in Pakistan still thinks that the wife shouldn't interfere the husband's money and business. So, for some Pakistani men, they don't like if the wife talk about his business or his money. Most wives in Pakistan also don't have access to manage the husband's money, if they want something they have to ask to her husband or to her mother in law if she lives in joint family house. Some husbands give their wives money pocket if they still have money left to spend for their wives, but there are still many Pakistani wives in Pakistan who don't get money pocket.
9. No matter how busy you are ( if you have a job ), you need to cook and do house duty
Some Pakistani men are willing to help if you ask his favor, but you need to realize in Pakistani culture this is your job not him. So don't treat him like the house duty is his job. However, in most cases, the majority of Pakistani men don't want to help with the house duty, even some of them are lazy and don't want to work ( earn money ) likewise. If you marry upper middle class family and the family hires helpers ( servants ) in the house, then you can be more laid back with the house duty things, but still in Pakistan no matter you have a helper, they don't like to see you relax, and do nothing. They will expect you to supervise your helper to make sure she does her works properly and exactly like what they want, and in Pakistan mostly they will not let the helpers to take care of the children. So don't expect the helper also can be your nanny or au pair.
10. The kids are your job
Don't expect too much for your husband's help to take care of the baby and kids because in Pakistani society the mother has the main job to look after her kids. This is not a father's job but a mother's job. When your children grow up and they disobey family's decision, violate the family's rule and go far away from the culture and system, the father and the rest of family members can blame you for this matter because they think you are not a good mother and are not capable to raise your children to be a good child.
11. Can't talk with male stranger on the street specially if you live in Pakistan
Talking with male strangers on the street can be a huge issue in Pakistan especially in small cities and village. They will think that you are a bad women or an easy target to 'pick up'. This thing also can bring dishonor to your Pakistani husband and family.
12. Can't be too friendly with males.
Being polite and friendly are good but this thing is not good in Pakistani society specially if you do it to the men. Giving too much smiles, or having friendly conversation with man can be a huge problem in Pakistani society. Most of them will think that you are an easy woman to get and cannot protect your Pakistani family's reputation.
13. Can't walk in front of your husband and can't walk too far from your husband
The wife shouldn't walk in front of the husband, it's a disgrace n Pakistani society. walking too far from your husband also is not a good thing to be seen in Pakistan.
14. Can't do sports in public place
Swimming in public pool or going to public gym can be a problem for Pakistani man. The women should do those activities in private place or in laddies hours.
15. Pakistani man's family is number one
According to Pakistani culture, the daughter is belong to her husband's family after the wedding and she needs to take care of the husband's family. Although you are not a Pakistani woman but he expects you to act like Pakistani woman and take care of his family. Don't demand him to do the same with your own family, because in Pakistani culture the son is belong to his family not wife's family and most Pakistani family will have issue if the son is too inclined to his wife's family.
16. Can't show any romance in front of Pakistanis
Maybe in your country to see the couple kissing on the street is a common thing but not in Pakistan. Showing the romance like kissing, hugging, holding hands in front of Pakistanis is not polite even in front of the family members.
17. If you are Muslim, you can't pray at mosque
Is it sound weird and not Islamic? but it's Islamic in Pakistan. Pakistanis believe that women are not allowed to pray at mosque, they have to pray at home. Consequently, many mosques in Pakistan don't provide a prayer place for women. Most of Pakistani women will pray at home even in Eid celebration. There are only few mosques in Pakistan which provide place for women, such as Faisal Mosque in Islamabad.
18. No privacy if you live in Pakistani joint family
Have you imagined living together with many people in 1 house? what it could be? yes, no privacy anymore inside the house. Even they will put many people to sleep on living room because they don't have more room left. Don't expect your mother in law or sister in law to not knocking your door when you sleep at night, because sometimes it happens. They will knock your door only to show you their new clothes. Don't expect that your future kids will get their own room if there is no room left in the house. So if you have 5 kids and no room left in the house for them, then you have to manage how to put your all kids together in your own room.
If you think your stuff is yours and no one can touch it, when you live in Pakistani joint family your rule will not apply for them. Many Pakistani people when they live in the same house, they will use all the stuffs as "public property". The people in the house mostly use the stuff without permission. Thus, be ready when your sister in law finds your lipstick and she uses it straight away.
19. Your Pakistani husband is yours only at night.
Being a girl friend and being a wife are two different things. When you live in Pakistan and live in Pakistani joint family, as a wife you will be surrounded by sisters in law and mother in law while your Pakistani husband chilling with his friends and male cousins. As a Pakistani's wife you will be busy with your house duty things and future kids, and your Pakistani husband will be busy with his job and his Pakistani mates. Therefore, the couple will have time to spend together mostly at night before going to bed.
20. Be ready to get rejected when you call him on phone.
If you are spoiled by your Pakistani man right now and you think that he is always available for you in 24 hours. Your prince charming is ready to reply your messages and take all your calls any time although he is busy with his job or with his friends. Then, you have to be ready to accept the change when you marry him. Most of them time Pakistani man will not pursue you as much as before you marry him.
Before the wedding when he is with his mates, mostly he will take your call and be happy to show you off to his friends, but when he marries you he will reject your call. Pakistani man is more inclined to hide his wife. He prefers talking to you without his friends being around. If you send him a text when he goes out with his mates or male cousins then just be ready to wait for his reply longer because he is too busy with his "man things".
Note : Not all Pakistani men will do the all these things. It depends on how modern the Pakistani man is, where in Pakistan your Pakistani man comes from, what kind of family he has, and also your life circumstances. More modern he is, will be less requirements towards you.